Completely agree with your conclusion. Existentialism and identity construction were pet topics of mine, trying to sort out why, even though I lived and presented as a man, I never felt connected to it. Personally, I barely considered myself human let alone “male”. Anyway, the lessons I learned along the way were that our sense of self i…
Completely agree with your conclusion. Existentialism and identity construction were pet topics of mine, trying to sort out why, even though I lived and presented as a man, I never felt connected to it. Personally, I barely considered myself human let alone “male”. Anyway, the lessons I learned along the way were that our sense of self is the result of process more than any static or kernel of truth. You’re exactly right that we’ve not had the practice of being seen as girls and women so it’s not seamless for us.
The practice should also involve LOTS of affirming group and friend activities. We also see ourselves through the eyes of others, they point out our characteristics that make us “one of them”, allow us to be in their groups. We are social creatures. And as you also say, it takes time.
I think about this as so many of us trans femme lean hard into femininity at the beginning. Even seeing my nails painted, or femme-coded shoes give little visual cues about my own womanhood. We just have to wrap ourselves in affirmation hoping that some of it bleeds into our sense of self over time.
I’m only 6mos into my journey and my sense of womanhood comes and goes - the harder I lean into femme and affirming activities the closer I feel. The more stressed and anxious, and I feel like my old “nothing” self.
Completely agree with your conclusion. Existentialism and identity construction were pet topics of mine, trying to sort out why, even though I lived and presented as a man, I never felt connected to it. Personally, I barely considered myself human let alone “male”. Anyway, the lessons I learned along the way were that our sense of self is the result of process more than any static or kernel of truth. You’re exactly right that we’ve not had the practice of being seen as girls and women so it’s not seamless for us.
The practice should also involve LOTS of affirming group and friend activities. We also see ourselves through the eyes of others, they point out our characteristics that make us “one of them”, allow us to be in their groups. We are social creatures. And as you also say, it takes time.
I think about this as so many of us trans femme lean hard into femininity at the beginning. Even seeing my nails painted, or femme-coded shoes give little visual cues about my own womanhood. We just have to wrap ourselves in affirmation hoping that some of it bleeds into our sense of self over time.
I’m only 6mos into my journey and my sense of womanhood comes and goes - the harder I lean into femme and affirming activities the closer I feel. The more stressed and anxious, and I feel like my old “nothing” self.