I appreciate the sentiments and will always welcome comments from cis allies.
I do have to add, though, that I both agree and disagree with one thing: Yes, it *does* take some time to let go of the fear of giving up what went before. Often a lot of time. But no, I don't think overcoming that fear is related to the emotional internalizatio…
I appreciate the sentiments and will always welcome comments from cis allies.
I do have to add, though, that I both agree and disagree with one thing: Yes, it *does* take some time to let go of the fear of giving up what went before. Often a lot of time. But no, I don't think overcoming that fear is related to the emotional internalization of our identities. Rather, overcoming that fear is what we have to do to come out of the closet and start transitioning *at all*. That fear is what keeps us *in* the closet.
You're also right that we know the path we're on is the right one, but that there is fear associated with that path. But I disagree about the nature of that fear. The fear associated with that path is not about giving up our former masculinity or femininity--indeed, I suspect the vast majority of us are *desperate* to give those things up. The fear associated with that path is that it won't work. That we won't be able to distance ourselves far enough from the masculinity or femininity that once plagued us to find the comfort in our own skins that we so desperately need.
I'll note only that the original question was about responding to someone saying "I know I'm a trans woman, so why don't I feel like one," which appeared to me to be a question about creeping self-doubt from the difference between self-knowledge and some lack of gut feeling of self-acceptance. I just wanted to suggest that at times of change, of being on the path, such feelings are entirely normal and need not deter (the generic) you.
I appreciate the sentiments and will always welcome comments from cis allies.
I do have to add, though, that I both agree and disagree with one thing: Yes, it *does* take some time to let go of the fear of giving up what went before. Often a lot of time. But no, I don't think overcoming that fear is related to the emotional internalization of our identities. Rather, overcoming that fear is what we have to do to come out of the closet and start transitioning *at all*. That fear is what keeps us *in* the closet.
You're also right that we know the path we're on is the right one, but that there is fear associated with that path. But I disagree about the nature of that fear. The fear associated with that path is not about giving up our former masculinity or femininity--indeed, I suspect the vast majority of us are *desperate* to give those things up. The fear associated with that path is that it won't work. That we won't be able to distance ourselves far enough from the masculinity or femininity that once plagued us to find the comfort in our own skins that we so desperately need.
I'll note only that the original question was about responding to someone saying "I know I'm a trans woman, so why don't I feel like one," which appeared to me to be a question about creeping self-doubt from the difference between self-knowledge and some lack of gut feeling of self-acceptance. I just wanted to suggest that at times of change, of being on the path, such feelings are entirely normal and need not deter (the generic) you.