Reading this article I really vibe with the concept of hermeneutical injustice. In my case it wasn't even that I didn't know that trans-people existed, I even know what being trans meant. I knew that I'd rather be a girl. But I also "knew" I wasn't trans: Because I wasn't trans enough. I hadn't tryed to self-srs aged 4 with the kiddy sci…
Reading this article I really vibe with the concept of hermeneutical injustice. In my case it wasn't even that I didn't know that trans-people existed, I even know what being trans meant. I knew that I'd rather be a girl. But I also "knew" I wasn't trans: Because I wasn't trans enough. I hadn't tryed to self-srs aged 4 with the kiddy scissors, I hadn't been "one of the girls" as a kid, I didn't play with puppets (actually I did have a pretty normal cis boyhood all things considered).
In hindsight that's not too suprising since my female role models weren't girly girls either (my mom's an engineer, my aunt founded a company) and my dad was my main caregiver.
I only really discovered gender differences as a teen and then got horribly bullied for not being a proper boy. As a result I didn't dare do anything insufficiently manly in public until Corona, where I finally grew out my hair.
In my early tweens I got obsessed with transgender fiction and actually started wondering if I might be trans, but the "trans tests" on the internet told me I'm a crossdresser and the only trans-stories I knew were those of early bloomers. Thus I concluded I'm probably a bit gender queer, but not really trans and coming out as gender queer is probably just asking for discrimination. So I once again buried my feelings under cope and isolated myself largely from society for more than the next decade.
In the end the truth set me free... I ended up reading some transgender fiction again and some story informed me that there were no necessary conditions for being trans and if I wanted to be a girl I probably was.
I don't need to be dysphoric (I mean which fish being born in shit, can tell the difference between shit and water?), I don't need early childhood experiences, I can actually feel sexually aroused at the idea of being female... it's just enough that I want to be a girl.
With that my egg was cracked and I'm on the path of transition now. Just that information was enough to turn my denial into certainty.
Reading this article I really vibe with the concept of hermeneutical injustice. In my case it wasn't even that I didn't know that trans-people existed, I even know what being trans meant. I knew that I'd rather be a girl. But I also "knew" I wasn't trans: Because I wasn't trans enough. I hadn't tryed to self-srs aged 4 with the kiddy scissors, I hadn't been "one of the girls" as a kid, I didn't play with puppets (actually I did have a pretty normal cis boyhood all things considered).
In hindsight that's not too suprising since my female role models weren't girly girls either (my mom's an engineer, my aunt founded a company) and my dad was my main caregiver.
I only really discovered gender differences as a teen and then got horribly bullied for not being a proper boy. As a result I didn't dare do anything insufficiently manly in public until Corona, where I finally grew out my hair.
In my early tweens I got obsessed with transgender fiction and actually started wondering if I might be trans, but the "trans tests" on the internet told me I'm a crossdresser and the only trans-stories I knew were those of early bloomers. Thus I concluded I'm probably a bit gender queer, but not really trans and coming out as gender queer is probably just asking for discrimination. So I once again buried my feelings under cope and isolated myself largely from society for more than the next decade.
In the end the truth set me free... I ended up reading some transgender fiction again and some story informed me that there were no necessary conditions for being trans and if I wanted to be a girl I probably was.
I don't need to be dysphoric (I mean which fish being born in shit, can tell the difference between shit and water?), I don't need early childhood experiences, I can actually feel sexually aroused at the idea of being female... it's just enough that I want to be a girl.
With that my egg was cracked and I'm on the path of transition now. Just that information was enough to turn my denial into certainty.