Updating your documents
Speed-run your name and gender marker changes!
If you’re trans, and you choose to come out and transition, you’re probably going to want to change your name. And with that, the million other documents and systems in the world that have your old name.
I did this recently, and it was confusing AF. Not because any individual part was hard, but because it was very difficult to know what order to do it all in. So I’m here to clear up that question, and offer some general tips I picked up along the way.
This post is not intended to be a clearing-house of specific how-to for updating every kind of document in every state in the U.S. or anything like that. This is just for the major stuff that lets you live your daily life under your true identity, and you’ll have to figure out the specifics for your state. But the general order should be very similar no matter where you live.
This is the flowchart I wish I’d found when I started:
Tier-0: Legal Name Change
You have to do this first, because nobody will agree to change your name anywhere else if you don’t have a court order saying that your name is now such-and-such. The specific procedures for name change will vary by state, of course, but in general you will likely have to petition your local district court, have a hearing with a judge, and pay some fees.
It’s not hard, because women do this all the time after getting married or divorced, so they make it pretty straightforward. The worst part will likely be waiting for your court date. Mine was six weeks out from when I put in the original petition.
Tip: once the judge signs off, the clerk at the courthouse will finalize the paperwork. That is likely your best, easiest opportunity to get certified copies of the court order. You will probably have to pay extra for each copy, but it’s likely not very much. Washington state charged me $5 each. I got 4, and that was plenty. Why do you need more than one? Because sometimes you have to mail them somewhere, and some places insist on having an original or certified copy. Hint: the State Department is just such a place.
Tier-1: Social Security and Credit Cards
Tier-1 items are those for which you only need the court order, plus other stuff you already have lying around.
Social Security:
The absolute next thing you should do, after getting that court order in your hot little hands, is update your social security records. Why? Because the Tier-2 places are going to want that. You will be blocked on everything else until you do this. This part, I screwed up, largely because I did not realize that having an updated Social Security card was going to be a blocker. But it is. So do that IMMEDIATELY.
Tip: dealing with the Social Security Administration is a royal pain in the ass. These people have refined bureaucracy to a high art. The general order in which you should approach the SSA is this:
Make an appointment for a name-change. There is almost certainly a local SSA office somewhere near you, especially if you live in a city of any size. Some things they will do for walk-in customers. Name changes? No. You need an appointment. Maybe you can call and make an appointment on the phone, if you can find a phone number for your local office, and if the moons of Jupiter align with Mars that day. Otherwise, you will have to go into the office in person in order to (as a walk-in) schedule the appointment so you can come back again later for the five minutes of actual time the appointment will take. This requirement to have an appointment is not at all obvious on the SSA.gov website. I learned this the hard way.
Download form SS-5, print it out, and fill it out. You can also use this form to update your gender marker.
Show up for your appointment, and bring with you:
The SS-5 form
Your current (old name) driver’s license or other state ID
Your court order
Something to keep yourself occupied in the waiting area. For real. You may be waiting a long time, and if you’re not ready when they call your number, you could miss out. So bring snacks and water and time your bladder accordingly.
Wait about a week for them to send you a new Social Security card.
(Update: I have heard stories from other people recently who have been able to do a name/gender marker change as a walk-in customer with no scheduled appointment needed. I don’t know what to make of that, except to infer that procedures are not consistent across all SSA offices. 🤷♀️)
Tip: Like the court date, you will almost certainly have to wait about a month for your appointment. So, once you know what the court date is, that’s a good time to schedule your SSA appointment for the day after. I burned an extra month (or two, really), from not understanding that and not understanding the need for a scheduled appointment to change your name.
Tip: At the name-change appointment, CONFIRM with the clerk that they’re also updating your gender marker. Just because I put that on the form doesn’t mean they noticed. Mine would have gone un-corrected if I hadn’t asked. And the last thing you want is to have inconsistent gender markers across different documents once you’re done with all this.
Credit Cards:
These were quite easy. Slow as Christmas, for the minimal things that are involved, but easy.
Call your credit cards’ customer service line. The number will be on the back of your cards. If you have multiple cards, you will have to call each one separately.
Tell the customer service rep that you’ve had a legal name change. They will send you, or tell you where to download, a form.
Fill out the form with your new information.
Make a photocopy of your name change order to send in with the form.
That’s all there is to it. Then, wait a good month or so for them to send you new cards.
Tier-2: SSN-dependent items
Driver’s License:
With most states now requiring the new Enhanced ID cards for drivers licenses, you need to have your Social Security information updated before you can update your driver’s license. Why? Because the EID system connects your state ID to a federal database, so whatever the state puts on your driver’s license has to match what the federal government thinks.
Updating your name and gender marker on your DL is one of those things that’s pretty variable from state-to-state. Names are generally easy (again, women do this all the time after getting married or divorced). Some states are chill about gender markers, some not. You’ll have to look up what your state requires.
In Washington state, where I live, it was pretty easy. I had to print out and complete a change of gender marker form, and bring that + court order + current DL + updated Social Security card to the DMV. Get a new picture taken, pay a fee, and wait a few weeks for the new card to arrive in the mail.
Voter Registration:
Again this is highly variable by state. But, many states now allow people to register to vote at the same time they get a driver’s license, or to update your voter registration when you update your driver’s license. If your state does that, take advantage. Getting my voter registration updated in Washington was as easy as asking the clerk at the DMV to please also do that when I was there to get my updated license.
Passport:
The last of the biggies. At least as of now (December 2024), the State Department still lets you update your gender marker for the asking. You don’t need to prove anything to them about it. You will, however, still need to apply for an updated passport. This was not especially difficult:
Go to the State Department website and search up form DS-82. Use the online form-filler tool to fill the whole thing out. You can use this one form to change both your name and gender marker. Print out the resulting PDF file.
Go get a new passport photo taken. My drugstore does them. Any FedEx/Kinkos store will do them. Sometimes even grocery stores will do them. Just google “passport photo near me” and you’ll find plenty of options.
Attach the photo to the form.
Gather the following materials:
Your old passport and passport wallet card (if you have one of those)
A certified copy of your name change order (they will send it back to you eventually)
The DS-82 form with picture attached
A check for the amount you’ll owe them. I can’t tell you how much it will cost. Their fee structure is complicated enough to require a fee calculator tool on the State Department website.
Send all of that to the address listed on the DS-82 form.
Wait for your new passport to arrive.
Tip: PAY FOR EXPEDITED SERVICE. If you can at all afford it, it’s well worth the extra $60 or whatever it was to get the speedy service. I did this, and no regrets: From the day I mailed in my stuff to when I received my new passport and wallet card was 20 days. Just under three weeks, and that was three weeks that included the Thanksgiving holiday.
Note: I am not 100% sure that your passport is a Tier-2 item. It might be Tier-1. However, the DS-82 form does ask for your SSN, so to me it seemed prudent to make sure Social Security had my correct name and gender before applying for the new passport. Doing it as a Tier-2 item definitely worked, though.
Tier-3: Driver’s License dependent items
For me, there was only one place that needed Court order, SSN, and DL:
Bank:
Most banks these days keep a copy of your driver’s license and social security card on file. Hence, to update the name on your bank accounts, you will likely need to provide your bank with:
Court order
Updated driver’s license
Updated Social Security card.
Mine did, anyway. But upon bringing those things into the local bank branch office, it was easy: let them make new copies of those documents, and fill out a new signature card for my account.
Tip: Don’t forget to order new checks with your new name on them, if you still use checks for anything.
DOUBLE TIP: Make sure the bank also updates your honorific along with your name, if they keep that in their system. The last thing you want is to wait for your new checks to arrive only for them to show up with your new name but the old MR or MS in front of it. Ask me how I know. It never even occurred to me that they had an honorific on file for me. Surprise!
Credit Reporting Services:
Your old name has a credit score. Your new name doesn’t. This doesn’t matter most of the time, but you might be surprised at who checks your credit score:
Banks, when lending money
Credit card companies, if you’re applying for new cards
Employers, as part of the hiring process
Landlords, when renting you a place to live
Insurance companies, to figure out what rates to charge you
Utilities, who may require a deposit on their services if your credit score is low
Government agencies, for determining whether you qualify for certain benefits
Collection agencies, to figure out if you’re likely to be able to pay whatever debt has been sent to collections.
In the U.S. there are three major credit reporters. Here are the links for how-to information on updating your name with each of them. All three will require your name change order and a copy of your updated driver’s license. Equifax and Transunion also need your SSN, while Experian wants a copy of a bank statement with your new name on it:
Happy Paperworking!
One final tip: Once you start this process, make a folder (a physical one) somewhere in your house to hold all the paperwork that will be involved. It’s really nice to have it all collected in one place, to know where that place is, rather than playing the “now where did I put that one piece of paper” game. That game sucks. Also, make a name-change folder on your computer, with sub-folders for various stuff you have to download or fill-out online. Same logic there. I hate playing “where did I put that file” almost more than the other game. Be smart. Stay organized. Make your life easy.
I personally hate paperwork with the fire of a thousand suns. Hopefully you’re not as phobic about it as I am. All the same, I got through it, and you can too. All in all, I was pleasantly surprised at how easy everything was, with the exception of Social Security. And even there, the difficulty was not with the name change itself, but with the stupidity of their appointment scheduling.
None of this is actually difficult. It takes a minute, but you can make it go a lot faster than I did by being more on-the-ball about it than I was. I filed my name change petition on July 5th, and received my passport on December 4th. Almost exactly six months, and that was with me lollygagging around. Looking at the unavoidable lag-times in the above process, I could have speed-run (speed-ran?) it in 3 months, if I had overlapped the waiting time for my court and SSA appointments, if I had known what to do in what order, etc.
Hopefully this post helps you to do just that.